Q: I have a friend who has been talking about suicide, but I fear they’ll lose their career if I tell anyone. My friend has told me not to say anything. What should I do?
A: Take all discussions about suicide seriously. Most people tell someone before they kill themselves. Encourage the person to seek help. Offer to accompany them to see a mental health provider. Ask them if they have a plan for suicide. If yes, ensure that you contact someone such as their supervisor, Life Skills Support Center (LSSC), etc., and don’t leave them alone until they receive help. It is better to have a friend who may be upset with you than a friend who is dead. If they are not suicidal, talk and listen to them and encourage them to seek help on their own. We know that seeking help on one’s own is far better than being sent over following misconduct or poor duty performance. Reinforce the idea of early help.
Q: The Air Force tells me that it’s okay to seek help, but I know of a co-worker who was kicked out because the unit discovered they were going to mental health. How do I know it is safe to get help on my own?
A: The Air Force advocates and promotes self -help behavior. In fact, the vast majority of people who seek help on their own (95+%) never have their career affected. It is true in some cases an emotional condition may interfere with a person’s performance so much that the condition is not compatible with continued military service. These kinds of cases truly are less frequent than you think.
Q: What should I do if my friend calls me in the middle of the night and tells me they have a plan for suicide?
A: Contact emergency medical services or security forces/police immediately. This should be considered an emergency. Do not try and guess as to whether they are really serious or not. If you happen to be near the person, stay with them until help arrives. Relay as much information about the situation as you can to the appropriate agencies including the person’s current location and the plan for suicide. Making promises to the person not to tell will only increase their risk.
Q: How much will my unit know if I seek help at the LSSC on my own?
A: Each provider is obligated to maintain confidentiality, but with certain limitations. Examples of these limitations would be in cases of voiced self-harm or harm to others, child or spouse abuse, or UCMJ violations among others. Your provider should discuss these limitations with you when you visit. The chaplain is the only individual who can offer full confidentiality.
Q: Is it true that if someone really wants to commit suicide, there is nothing anyone can do to stop him or her?
A: This is not true. Suicide is an ambivalent event. Wanting to commit suicide is not inherent and works against our natural instinct to survive. When the accumulations of life stress events converge, exceeding coping skills, suicide may become an option. A plan for suicide is usually formulated over time. Frequently when the person has time to get treatment and discuss stressful events, suicide no longer looks like an attractive option.
Q: What exactly is “Self and Buddy Care”, and how does it apply to suicide prevention?
A: Self-care is exactly that. It means that you are educated in identifying the characteristics associated with increased suicide risk in you. Buddy care is the same principles applied to a friend. The principles are to learn when you or someone else is in need of help.
Q: Does alcohol increase the chances that someone will commit suicide?
A: Alcohol affects judgment. Increased alcohol use has been shown to accompany other problems such as increased impulsivity, depression, financial and social/relationship difficulties, and together may increase the risk for suicide.
Q: I know there are several places to get help on the base. Where is the best place to go?
A: All are good. Helping agencies include the Chaplain (full confidentiality and spiritual matters), Family Support Centers, Health and Wellness Centers (HAWC), Life Skills Support Centers (formerly Mental Health), and family, friends or supervisors. The Air Force encourages help seeking behavior with any of these agencies or people. Regardless of the source, the main thing is that you receive some kind of help!
Q: I have a friend who talks vaguely about suicide but they have not harmed themselves. How serious should I take them, or is this attention-seeking behavior?
A: You should be very concerned and encourage them to seek help on their own. Just because they haven’t harmed themselves in the past doesn’t mean they will not in the future. The best thing you can do is to let someone else know if a friend is talking about suicide. Be educated on what to look for and ask them. Being silent won’t help.
Q: I have heard that women attempt suicide more often, but are less successful than men. Is this true?
A: Yes. Even though four times as many men than women die by suicide, women attempt suicide more often. There are some theories behind this, specifically that the depression rates in woman are higher than men, and that men choose more lethal means of harming themselves.
Q: What is the highest suicide risk category in the Air Force?
A: White males, aged 25-34, and no longer married. Multiple indicators of increased vulnerability include relationship loss/problems, financial difficulties, under investigation or other legal problems, and alcohol abuse.
Q: How can I tell if someone is really depressed compared with just being down? Does being depressed mean that someone will consider suicide?
A: To the last question, No. There are many depressed people who don’t consider suicide. It is only when the person feels that there is no other option or way out of the situation that suicide becomes an alternative. Look for at least a 2 week period of hopelessness/helplessness, increased anger/agitation, withdrawal from others, difficulty eating or sleeping, loss of pleasure in activities that previously brought satisfaction, and talk of death. Help or encourage the person to seek the help of a professional.
Q: What is “L-I-N-K”?
A: L - Look for the indicators; I – Inquire or ask them about how they are doing, including suicide; N – Note the level of seriousness; K – Know how to get help.
Q: I have heard that if someone is really depressed, asking him or her about suicide will plant the thought in his or her mind. Is this true?
A: No. They may be more appreciative if you ask them. It will let them know that someone cares enough to ask and open the door for talking. Chances are they have thought about suicide long before anyone asks them.
Q: I recently had a friend who told me they were suicidal. I was taken back and didn’t really know what to say. Are there things I should or should not say?
A: DO ask if they have a plan. DO show concern/caring by asking open-ended questions such as, “What has happened that you are considering suicide?” Listen and be direct and honest. DON’T give advice or be judgmental or lecture the person on what a stupid idea it is. DON’T dare them to do it or leave them alone, or promise to keep things secret. Do seek immediate assistance for the person if they have a plan to harm themselves.
Q: What is the top risk factor associated with suicide events in the AF?
A: Relationship problems, followed by legal problems.
Q: What is the most frequent method of committing suicide in the AF?
A: Firearms. Hanging is the second most common, and asphyxiation and poisoning are third and forth respectively. The majority of completed suicides take place off base with more than half in the victim’s personal residence.
Q: What about Non-Fatal Self-Injurious Behavior (self-harm not resulting in death)? Who is most at risk in the AF?
A: Variables most frequently found in these events include: student status, female, lower rank and age, mood disorder (depression most common), work or relationship problems, and history of seeking care through mental health professionals or medical professionals within that past year.
Q: Where can I get more frequently asked questions about suicide?
A: There is a website that meets that need: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/research/suicidefaq.cfm National Institute of Mental Health. This site provides frequently asked questions about suicide. Some of the questions are, “What should you do if someone tells you they are thinking about suicide?” and “Why do men commit suicide more often than women?” It also has contact numbers for public inquiries.
Q: Can I really make a difference?
A: Absolutely, building a sense of community and connection with unit members is a powerful way to risk suicide risk.
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